You have probably worked so hard to build a happy and fulfilling life. You strive to make it as nice and as comfortable as possible. Maybe you are lucky enough to have come to terms with what you can or cannot have.
Despite your contentment and peaceful acceptance of life, you are sadly confronted on a regular basis with external negativity. This may be in the form of unfair criticism, envious personal attacks, or hurtful gossip from those around you. This makes you feel angry, helpless, betrayed, and a victim of senseless people. Every day, no matter how much you try to avoid it, outside negativity always finds a way of creeping into your life, and destroying the happiness you have worked so hard for.
Even worse, you may be going through a tough time already and really need peace and support. However, insensitive behavior and comments from colleagues, friends, strangers, or neighbors, constantly weigh you down. It feels like a heavy anchor, threatening to drag and drown you in the stormy sea that your life has become. Your boss may criticize you at every turn, and never appreciate your efforts no matter how hard you try. A fellow workmate may gossip and make snide comments about you. You feel isolated and not a part of the office. Your workplace feels like a painful mental and emotional vice that you just cannot escape.
A neighbor may be making your life at home difficult by consistently interfering with your affairs. You try to be polite and friendly, but it does not seem to work. You try to ignore it but there is no way of getting past the finger pointing. You feel drained and helpless in your own home. Sometimes it is total strangers who come out of nowhere and make a mess of your day. The guy behind you in traffic vents his frustration on you by honking annoyingly and making rude gestures. The receptionist at the public office shouts and rudely dismisses your polite enquiries.
What can you do in the midst of all this negativity? How can you release external negativity and live a happy and fulfilled life? Before you resign yourself to your frustrations with negativity, it is important to realize that everyone goes through this. You may feel like an unfortunate target of the worst people, but this is not the case. In fact, it is this feeling of being singled out and served with bad behavior that causes so much frustration. You wonder why it has to be you who has to regularly deal with a bombardment of negativity. You look around you and think everyone else is seemingly immune from unfair treatment by others.
Truth be told, many people are faced with the same situation. They just do not let it show, or allow it to interfere with their daily lives. They do not let it stop them from enjoying the little joys in life. Unfortunately, there are also many others who cannot deal with it. They retreat into a cocoon of resigned desperation, unable to find a way out of this misery. This does not have to be so. They are many effective ways to release external negativity and stop it from destroying your life. Once you understand why it happens, external negativity can be dealt with much more easily. The guy venting his rage behind you in traffic has nothing against you. He probably just got fired unfairly or got passed over for a promotion. He is enraged with his situation, and releases his negativity on whoever is nearby. Your boss may have a lot of personal problems that interfere with his work attitude. It could be a painful marriage or nasty divorce. His frustrations get the better of him, and he takes it out on you and others in the office. The rude receptionist may simply be venting her own frustrations for being treated badly by her boss. Maybe the previous customer was equally rude and nasty with her. You unfortunately just happened to be the next person in line.
The interesting thing is that all these negative people may not even realize the effect their negative behavior is having on you. They are just obsessed with their own frustrations and unhappiness to spare any sensitivity. Their problems and personal issues appear so huge to them, that they become blind to the plight of others. It is therefore up to you to know how to deal with this absorbed negativity. The power to release external negativity lies solely with you.
The hurtful behavior of negative people is a cry for help. It is a way of telling you how bad their suffering is. Therefore, rather than getting upset and frustrated, avoid reacting when you encounter negative behavior. If someone shouts at you unfairly, sit back and listen. Smile and ensure you remain completely detached. Maybe they are just looking for a reaction from you. Keep an emotional distance from their rants and rages. This allows you to focus on yourself, and not on their negativity. As you develop a protective barrier, you effectively block out their issues from affecting your life.
Another way to release external negativity is by empathizing with negative people. This makes you feel sorry for their plight, rather than getting angry and hating them. Knowing where their negativity comes from can help you dissociate yourself from negative reactions and emotions. Even if you do not know details of their lives, assume they are going through deep trouble. You will even feel lucky to be you, and not them.
Focusing on your own wellbeing and energy can also help you to release external negativity. Keep a count of all the good things in your life. You do not have to compare and feel superior to negative people. It is simply a matter of delighting in the little things that make you smile. It minimizes the effect of negative people on you. It shifts the focus back to you, and prevents negativity from draining your positive energy out of you. It leaves you enthusiastic and with a positive outlook towards life.
At times, it may be necessary to totally avoid negative people. This may involve changing jobs, ignoring negative friends, or moving house. Life is too short to keep carrying other people’s crosses, especially if it leaves you depressed. Surround yourself with positive people who are optimistic and energized. It will rub off on you, and make you happier.
It is important to realize that whatever you do, you cannot make everyone happy. Even your best work, gesture, or act of kindness will be unappreciated or even unfairly criticized. Things will not appear to others as they do to you. Understanding this will prepare you for bad reactions from others when you do good things. It will help you take a deep breath, remain calm, and smile through it all. This is the best way to release external negativity and lead a content and happy life.