How to stop comparing yourself to others?
First let’s think, who are others? Are they mad or conscious? Do they wear agonizing grimaces, those negative words sound like beastly screams to your ears? Are you irrationally reacting or logically responding? Are they really doing better than you? Whether it is or it isn’t the case, that’s fine, simply use them as feedback to improve your blind spots, or learn from theirs. When others trigger us, it’s often an opportunity for fine-tuning our growth in places that we’ve left dormant – for far too long.
Do you think they genuinely are what they appear to be, are they who they said they are? Did they actually ever did what your mind chatter told you about them? Now, is your mind chatter, is your subconscious mind your friend or foe? Isn’t that the real question that answers your problem?
When following your inner compass on the way to your specific fate, do you take ephemeral signs for guidance? Did you trust your gut before jumping to a conclusion?
Doubt makes you truly human, after all, isn’t questioning if others’ truths are better than yours a sign of sanity of mind that distinguishes you from the preaching maniacs who claim to never doubt what they must absolutely dictate?
Even in the face of doubt, of competition and/or blocks – there is nothing to compare you to when you do you. In life, being you, that’s all there is to do. Be you like no one else can, then ‘‘to compare’’ becomes obsolete since only you can do you.
Isn’t ‘Am I better than them?’, the question you’re asking yourself? That’s fine to do a self-evaluation from your observations and to discard others’ opinions out of your subconscious mind afterward. (See Brainwaves to clear up mind clutter.) Why care more about someone else’s standards and meaningless distractions rather than focusing on living your life according to your own values and belief system? Only you know what’s good for you.
If you don’t trust your self-evaluation then, there, is a problem. Ask a courageous person for honest feedback about yourself; no matter what people say there is more often than not, a kind of truth to be found in everything you hear, and in everything you stare at for long enough. The reason is that in order to be comfortable in one’s own skin and blood, certain facts have to be known and looked at, sternly like a stoic, facing yourself and who you are underneath the scratchy feathers of others. Decide what you won’t be or what you want, and take it from there. We are as we wish to become.
Thus, let go of comparing yourself to others because doing otherwise brings suffering, self-loathing, disappointment, or worse, it can turn into a source of egoistic boosting; an addictive supply that will eventually lead to its self-destruction.
Why constantly look sideways when someone will always be behind you, and another ahead of you. This fact of life applies to all that is; when one is born another dies, and when one loses another wins…
When arrogance merges with cruelty, you see it’s grotesque, some choose to die of despair rather than metamorphose what’s rotten into gold because they fear the humiliation that may come from admitting that they were mistaken, and if they were wrong, who are they now?
Mind you, there exist many wise souls who know that humbleness, at times, is a useful tool. Even though it’s not cool to hang out naked and nailed on a cross, yet it’s still considered a spiritual activity by the saintly insane.
What we do not know about others is what we don’t know about ourselves; and what we ignore about ourselves is what we are blind to in the world – and the hungry wolves sense it as easily as they feel all full moons. When we do not know ourselves nothing can save us, and no one can think for us either – until we grow up. Until our childish dreams come to term with life’s heart-crushing odds and concrete reality, a moment of surrender to the call of saying yes to what our destiny has stored for us, instead of enviously pursuing others destinies to the point of getting lost in it because we were busy comparing ourselves forever…
Compare yourself today to who you were yesterday.
Set your own goals. Compare your new self to your old self or compare yourself to a role model or whoever inspires you to sharpen your skillset. The true competition is in between you and you. Only your mind sees clearly your ultimate goal, you only can find out how to reach the finish line while enjoying yourself, and hopefully the finish line will be reached before you’re finished. Remain unshaken by naysayers, by supporters or people doing better, faster or not, go at your own pace with faith.
And let them compare themselves to you since that is what they like to do; eating what you eat, drinking what you drink all the while outwardly criticizing everything you do. Indeed that’s weird?! But don’t overthink it, keep acting as if you don’t see what they’re doing. When all human feelings have been lost, anything to anybody can be done and justified, and we do know that that is the case of many ghosts who live amongst us. The ghosts compare themselves to you because they think you’re better than them, so let them unconsciously compliment you, be grateful for now you can move on with people following their own purpose and not those mimicking or grading yours on their shallow scale. People know better but people find it difficult to act on what they know, to act is to be committed, and to be committed scares many.
Each has its special path, and there are enough paths to happiness and despair for all. Fearful or brave of different shades on an endless spectrum of uniqueness; what’s good for your neighbor isn’t necessarily good for you. And what your friend fancies might actually look ugly to you, and it goes on and on…
Infinite colors, infinite stars in the sky, infinite styles to love, infinite styles of lovers,
Infinite numbers of mates, of enemies, of walls, of bridges, of jealous monsters and falls and infinite numbers of winters –
You know, once they’ve gone, another or they, will return.
Another time. So rest in your own truth, stay grounded in unshakable inner strength, and have faith for something higher, someone better – for an invisible current that loves You for who you are, as you are now. Perfectly comfortable in the role of being authentically you. Who know themself does not compare, who love does not compare. But jealousy and ignorance compare because they do not know themselves, nor do they love their definitions in the dictionary.
Like two negative words, one as disliked and bitter for it as the other, people treat each other crudely and perhaps always will. However, one day our torments cease for a bit, and we discover against our will that in fact, there is nothing to want except wanting to be ourselves.
Your optimistic thoughts are good energy, and having energy is having the stamina to pursue your self development to the edge of your fears. So carry on thinking greatly of yourself, and don’t hand over to any pessimist the satisfaction of seeing you giving up on your highest potential.