If self sabotaging was a crime then we would all be guilty of it. You might be looking at my words in stupor, the shock makes you think: “not guilty!” for you plan, prepare and always give the best of yourself so self sabotage issues have nothing to do with you. Well, let me refresh your memory…
Self sabotaging excuses
Have you ever set up a new workout routine and give up after a few days or weeks? Yes but, let me guess, it wasn’t your fault – after all there are only twenty four hours in a day. There is only one route to work, the one where you get stuck and stressed in the traffic. All you have time left for in your life is to sleep and continue to follow your draining, automated routine – there is certainly no time for learning a new time management technique.
Think of a time when you planned to save up money to help achieve a goal close to your heart and then blew it all on a shopping spree. Yes that’s right, you’ve heard many self help experts advising us to live in the now so the best thing you could do is to take everything literally and buy this new outfit to boost your ego for a day or two, rather than going on the holiday you have dreamed of for years, rather than creating a lifelong memory and crossing off that goal from your bucket list.
Has there been a time in your life when you have wished to be more educated as you were unable to get a better paid job? In truth, it happens to most of us. But some people, instead of sitting and procrastinating in between the latest soap opera and the newest celebrity magazine, are attending an evening part time course to get the needed qualification to get them to that new job.
These were just a few examples but, I hope you get the taste of what I mean by us all to some extent being guilty of self sabotage. My friend, this is not an accusation, it’s an invaluable realization because when the opportunity to pursue a more fulfilling lifestyle presents itself to you, ask yourself, will you have the self confidence to grab it or will you be making excuses?
Identifying self sabotaging behaviour
Self sabotage is the desire to pursue an adventurous dream from the safety of your sofa. It’s the need to make changes to your life without moving away from your comfort zone, and it’s the illusion of taking forward action while standing still or worse, moving backwards.
Self sabotage feels like an unconscious, yet powerful force holding you back. As if you were swimming up a river against the current; as if you were a mouse running around in circles, in the middle of a square box. You are seeking to exit the endless rolling wheel but you are unable to jump off of it; captive of your own mind.
The force, the magnetic pull, the invisible and controlling energy are – your fears! The fear of failure, convincing you to not even try. The fear that you will mess up in the end. These fears are like whispers in your ear – why would you take such a risk only to fall flat on your face! Isn’t it better to be safe and unhappy in a familiar but unrewarding place, than to try and fail at something that requires a bit of effort and courage that could make you happy?
Sabotage your fears
Once you acknowledge your fears as the underlying cause of your self sabotaging behaviour, facing and eliminating them should be your next steps. Why wait? Just do the work, save the funds, complete the fitness diet, enroll at the evening course, organize your time and sit down to meditate – even when you don’t feel like doing any of it.
Reclaim your power by facing your fears head on. Show yourself and the world that you have stopped being afraid and your fears will cease to play its tricks on you. Fear is deeply rooted but it is still ‘YOUR’ mind, and because it’s yours, you control it, through the words you say, the thoughts you think and the beliefs you hold. Fear will die the same way it was created in the first place; by you!
That’s why it’s important to be conscious of how you speak to yourself and to make changes wherever necessary. For example, If you catch yourself thinking “I can’t do it”, repeat “yes, I can do it!” three times out loud. The louder your inner voice is, the stronger your self beliefs will be. Fear is not going to hang around too long, trying to sabotage those who hold themselves in high esteem since it’s so much easier to manipulate the insecure souls among us.
Correct your way of thinking, alter your perspective on life and your actions will start changing too. So that fear can transform into self confidence and self sabotaging can shift instead to self realization.
There is no point in looking for external people and situations to blame for lack of progress or to resent the world for your disappointments. The reality is – you hold the power to transform in your very own hands!
You can sabotage your fears or self sabotage your life, it’s your choice and your will to change. So, who should have control over your happiness – fear or you?