Solitude: Do You Avoid Spending Time Alone?

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What does it mean to be alone?

It’s the weekend, your friends come round, you order a pizza from La Dolce Vita; you thought of making pasta but boiling the water requires constant checking. You have higher priorities than home cooking. As an organized person, you check your social media profiles while you listen to the conversation about fine dining without feeling fine.

To digest, the stereo emits its sound out, flesh moves, the steps start dancing with the style of kurt Cobain from Nirvana and ends as still as the Buddha sitting at peace in the middle of a Viennese waltz.

The sun is up, you moan about your hangover and how silly you were yesterday, and you spend time alone couch potatoing with the one you love, entertaining your offspring or overdosing on the latest episodes of Breaking Bad.

Monday; the programmed alarm clock will go off, coffee will be drunk on autopilot, the cell’s GPS will route you to the closet and the third eye asleep will be dressed. You’ll be thankful for last night’s shower and rush to take the dog and trash out. Instead of pausing to breathe the fresh air, you’ll be on your way, to make this week quicker than the last one.

Stressed out because you haven’t checked your emails yet, you exit and drive; anxious about running late, you turn the radio on to turn off the volume of your inner voice. Arrived at your destination, your cell is ringing so don’t worry about wondering why you are stressed and anxious at 9 am, the mysterious caller ID won’t know how busy you are unless you answer to tell them to call back at lunchbreak. Hold on…

 

Don’t you think it’s time to come to a halt? By continuing to sprint against the straining hill of life, running mile after mile until the heart collapses, you’ll be waving goodbye to your final dreams once you arrive at the finish line.

If you think that you do stuff on your own when you stuff yourself at home; if you believe that you know your destination when you don’t stop at the intersection, take the wrong turn, to end up looking as confused as a blind following a lost guide for roadmap, and if you feel in control of the wheel between your hands when the automatic driver mode is on. How do you know if you are heading in the right direction? You need to wonder alone…

That’s why you are going to travel alone on a worldwide cruise, because you’ve seen the film Titanic, it seems adventurous and if you sink you can’t swim and if you get lost, no one knows you in Alaska. You also booked for one person in a full restaurant, for appetizers, you stayed longer after work to tell your friends how much being alone is awesome and for dessert you went bumping into people at a cluttered shopping mall.

Your electronic devices and their irritating noises are distracting machines surrounding you with other humans opinions, beliefs and fears. So, even when you think yourself alone you are surrounded by people’s realities. But what is your reality? Do silence and solitude exist for a reason?

 

Solitude is treated as a disease, a secret preciously kept. What’s the problem with being alone, is the word on its own makes you feel alone? Frightened, going from one relationship to the next and hoping for the best, expecting less and less. Staying satisfied in dead end crushes and staying bored in undusted friendships long time outgrown until you find the enlightened nearest exit.

Raw and pure solitude is undervalued and underused; silenced, it becomes a synonym of the word unsociable. As if you have to be a nerd to not follow the popular trends that make you appear miserable; as if you have to feel alienated to dismiss the famous faces giving you their ‘out of touch with reality’ advice on life, the ones who make you seem unlovable.

It’s worth it to pause and think about the meaning of the words: ‘alone’ and ‘solitude’. No one asks you to take solitude to extreme or to retreat like a hermit under your duvet to enjoy sleeping some quality time with yourself. It is more joyful to sit outdoors embracing nature or to sit indoors, TV switched off and listen to your inner voice.

 

Get connected to your energy source – the authentic part of you, the light that knows what your soul needs and what your worth really is. Your energy source empowers you – to not lose yourself in others, to refrain from practicing ‘people pleasing’ and following time wasters. The right kind of solitude can make you think, even though there are many people out there who would rather do anything but think.

It’s understandable because processing thoughts can seem terrifying, as it highlight problems, it erupts volcanic parts of you, those parts overshadowed by ego. But don’t wait to get overblown, by screwing the cap on until it pops up in your face. Sooner or later things blow up and the more you bottle them up, repress and try to escape the inevitable meeting with yourself, the louder and brighter the fireworks will be for you to feel. Don’t avoid spending time alone unless you want to sit on a ticking bomb.

A good way to start loving yourself unconditionally is to be in tune with the answers that lie deep within your solitude. Hanging out to seek validation or approval from others, workaholism or weekend alcoholism and hoping for time to heal, leads to time piling up more hurts upon you and it doesn’t fill the void, neither does it solves issues.

Your happiness is already there! Why wait for time? What time master has an excuse for a meaningless life? You are the master of your life, so choose: You can sit back, grab a six pack, wishing for a six pack, to form on your abs, and pat yourself on the back, after you have watched all the home training videos online in your lifetime. This way you don’t have to worry as your time on earth will be fast tracked out,

or

You can direct the movie which is ‘your life’, the leading role is yours for the taking! Be the main character, visualize yourself starring on a big screen, exploring your passion and healing yourself in the process. Read your thoughts for script, clear your mind for creativity and respect your body for energy. Sit in peace and hold your breath, the peace of mind you crave is found in nature, waiting for you to seek.

 

Now let’s rewind, it’s the weekend you sit among the silence, to find abundance, you look deep inside solitude and you are alone to fill the blank…

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