One of the major problems that we as human beings suffer from, is that we place far too much emphasis upon being liked by others. We grow up listening to adults telling us that we have to harmoniously co-exist with opposites and respect everyone around us and that we should strive for the same in return.
This advice would be applied more often if people’s attitudes weren’t so complex and frustrating at times, especially when it comes to their role in affecting our self esteem with their sarcastic remarks, looks and ready made assumptions.
Whatever is believed or said, your self worth is more than just what people think of you, in fact it has nothing to do with it! Trust me, at the end of the day, what matters most is how you feel about yourself – what you feel about the value of the merchandise in your store and not what people think about its shutters.
Stop worrying about opinions that don’t matter. Here are some little tricks that can help you.
State your stance.
Your opinions are valid and do not need validating by others. Why should you compromise yourself and your beliefs or even worse, apologize for them? If for you, a song or a painting, according to your taste; sucks… then don’t be afraid to say it out loud rather than pretending that you like it to keep with the populist view. Even if you fear of rejection, remember wisdom doesn’t wish to be part of a group with bad taste.
Being able to have different opinions show that you are unique and can think for yourself instead of naively following whoever has the most impressive charisma or employs the best small talk techniques. Be true to yourself at all times.
Obsessed with social media? Stop!
Too bad, your new profile picture on Facebook has only five “likes”. Now consider, who cares? Your self worth should never be determined by the number of people who approve of your interactions on social media. It’s also easy for people to hide behind their screens making snide comments. Bitterness on social media is harsh and the acidic tongues will always find faults with one thing or the other. You needn’t be bothered about others’ spites. Don’t seek validation from others through social media. Self validation is much more important.
It takes time to think of you.
The world’s inhabitants think of you much less than you imagine. Put your ego aside and realize that people are usually too busy running their own lives to spend time pondering over yours. While you are worrying about what a random person thought of your clothes or a comment you made, chances are, they don’t even remember your outfit or what you said.
Even though we often project our own defects onto others, perhaps it is time to recognize our insecurities as our own creations, not created by others. Move away from a conspiracy mindset.
Focus on a meaningful goal.
We get so caught up in trivial things that don’t really matter. That one little quarrel you had with your friend three years ago – forget it. Remember the time your Aunt forgot your birthday – forget it.
Once you learn to let go of the smaller things, you can invest your energy into your career, hobbies and loved ones. Keep yourself busy but restrain from being busy with thinking about what others think about you.
Repeat this military toned statement: “I don’t care about others, what they think do not matters, only the end goal matters.” Once you stop worrying about gossips and judgements, you will set yourself free and achieve the goals that are important to you.
Concentrate on what really matters to you in life. Why waste time sitting down with your brain stuck on over analysing mode? Instead, stand up, go out to stare at the sun and flee for a crazy semester abroad. Eat the strawberry ice cream you have been craving.
Strengthen your strengths.
“Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragements, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak.” Thomas Carlyle
Being emotionally and mentally strong is not just something that you are born with but something you can learn over the course of your life. In the same way we’ve let go of past regrets as time taught us how to look past them.
Sometimes, we look at someone going through inexplicably tough situations and we think to ourselves ‘how do they even do it?’ Well, you can do it too. You can overcome everything with self mastery if you let go of self pity and stop worrying about what others think of you.
Nerves and anger –
Whenever an overwhelming situation takes a swan dive and you start to panic because you can’t swim, remember…
Stay calm under pressure. You have had worse happened to you. Without breaking down, you have made it this far. There is no reason for this time to be any different.
In most cases anger is out of our control and it doesn’t knock on doors, it breaks in. Still a well guarded entry gate is recommended to prevent the actions and words spoken by anger, which once said and done, can never be taken back.
Rather than resorting to anger, the next time you feel like Hulk, close your eyes and count to ten before breaking in.
Self pity –
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. As with all good things that turn sour, self pity is a harmful feeling to indulge in. Yes, bad stuff has gone down in your life, first you have endured then suffered. However, wallowing about until you get stuck in it won’t improve a thing.
The only way to be mentally and emotionally strong is to become empowered. To lift your soul higher, look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I am strong” until you start believing it. And when you believe in your fantasies, magic happens as the strong you will emerge into the real world with a mission to appease your worries about what people think about you.