You are often told how to change your life and the positive steps to become happier but before adding inspiring things to your self development plan, why not start by eliminating negative behaviours that have the potential to mess up your life.
I’ve listed for you the negative behaviours and attitudes that I’ve observed in people who lead miserable lives. If any of these resonate with you, know that self awareness is the beginning of positive change!
So here are the mindsets, beliefs and behaviours that make some peoples’ lives a painful and uphill struggle:
1 – Stay into a job you hate
Spend the biggest part of your active life working to get paid in a job that makes you feel undervalued, stressed, bored, and give you nausea on your way to work every morning. Believe that you are stuck and powerless since it’s your fate!
2 – Be a liar
Lie to yourself and others. Pretend to be someone you are not to the point that you believe it. Don’t question why you are dishonest, it doesn’t matter as long as you can hide your imperfections, low self esteem and gain attention from others. You can carry on competing unfairly because by the time you get found out, you will have thought of another lie.
3 – Stay in a loveless relationship
Don’t leave even if the good feelings ran out ages ago. With more wasted time and waiting time, your wish to return to the way things once were may come true – after all miracles do happen! Who cares that the longer you stay, the harder it will be to end things.
4 – Always be right
Your ego will be so huge and you will never be humiliated. After all, it’s easier to blame the world and everyone else for your flaws and problems than to admit that you are not perfect. Anyhow, arrogance is comforting!
5 – Be all or nothing
Perfection is unattainable so why would you set yourself up for disappointment. Don’t take the risk, there is no point in doing anything unless it’s perfect and you know that you are not good enough so why even bother trying. Blame the world rather than doing your best.
6 – Forget your financial situation
Live day by day, paycheck to paycheck and surrender the rest. If you have enough it will multiply itself overnight so no need to invest or save and if you have debts they will sort themselves out, after all financial ruin only happens to other people.
7 – Do everything by yourself
Struggle and call it independence. It’s overrated to ask for support, advice or help. Don’t think that someone else knows the answer you are looking for, or can give you a hand to sort a problem out. Anyhow, there won’t be a person in the whole world willing to help you.
8 – Don’t listen to yourself, others know best
“Does my outfit suit me?”, “Tell me what hairstyle I should go for?”, “What do you think I should do?”Always listen to someone else because people know you better than you know yourself and their opinions are stronger than your intuition.
9 – Don’t love and care for yourself
Try not to think of yourself as important, it’s better to always put others first than to be seen as someone who looks after your own well being. This way you won’t be judged or accused of being selfish and will be known to others as someone who will do anything for anyone, to the detriment of your own needs.
10 – Accept self limiting beliefs
Limit yourself by believing that everyone must like and love you or that it is too late to try something new, better still that you will never be able to because you are not clever enough. In addition learn to accept that you are not good looking or nice. Keep believing that your limitations are true that you’ll never overcome them.
11 – Be a blamer
That’s the fault of… If only… my girlfriend, my boyfriend, my friend, my children, my cat, my dog, the job interviewer, my boss, the school I went to. My body, my ex, my financial advisor, my self confidence, my communication skills, the place I live it… fill in as many as you please because you are clearly the last person to blame for anything and it is always someone elses fault. So don’t take control of your life and blame things you cannot change on everything and everyone else.
12 – Don’t let go of the past
Do whatever it takes to not release anything, to live in the past and to hang on to to old patterns and habits. Don’t worry about the fact that people and circumstances around you have moved on. Seek revenge against anyone who did you wrong. Why would you put your energy into achieving something remarkable for all the world to see, when hurting people back is so much more fun? Whoever said the best revenge is success is silly!
13 – Be bored
When boredom pays you a visit don’t do anything about it. Grab the phone and tell the world how bored you are – you can even Tweet it like this #IAmBored and see if any responses alleviate your boredom. If this doesn’t work, put the TV on.
14 – Practice negative self talk at all times
Try to talk to yourself negatively as much as possible. Beware of positivity – positive self talk is not a solution to destroy, diminish and eliminate low self esteem and lack of confidence. Go on, add a big dose of negativity to your self talk!
15 – Hang out with miserable people
Spend your time with the most negative people you know. Listen to their negativity, contribute to their gossip and reaffirm how depressing life is. Positive people are so annoying – always seeing the world through rose tinted glasses, you really don’t want to become like them!
16 – Avoid Boundaries
Don’t protect yourself by creating emotional boundaries in your key relationships – they are not crucial in order to maintain healthy relationships. Be safe in the knowledge that no-one has the intention to push your limits or take advantage of you and always remember that others needs are more important than your own!
17 – Be a quitter
When you encounter difficulties and challenges, give up. There is no point trying to overcome obstacles since you won’t succeed so instead of persisting, save your energy and move on to something else. If you fail at that first time, never try anything new and challenging again!
18 – Embrace guilt
Keep thinking about mistakes you made in the past to ensure you are filled with guilt and unable to move forwards. It is important to dwell on things until anger takes over you and while you are at it, make others feel guilty too for what they did wrong, even if time has passed and they apologised.
19 – Let others be responsible for your happiness
It’s easier to let others take on your responsibility for your happiness so they can be blamed when things go wrong or you are unhappy. This way others can rescue you and you can avoid emotional growth. So just sit back and wait to be saved.
20 – Take no risks
Don’t take any risks, live by believing others’ experiences instead of creating your own. There is no need to get out of your comfort zone to try anything new, too much could go wrong so so stay stuck where you are, it’s safe and familiar!
21 – Don’t listen to feedback
People have to realize that you know everything and can do no wrong. Therefore, ignore other peoples’ feedback, especially if it is constructive, and if they don’t agree with you just shut them off and walk away. Talk about yourself as much as possible and never apologize if you have caused offence.
22 – Be a control freak
Remain in charge of everyone and everything. It’s your way or the highway and being controlling is better than comprising no matter what solution other people come up with. You know it all anyway, don’t waste your time listening because nothing anyone has to say can make you grow and you are an expert of the world so there is nothing left to teach you!
23 – Be a back stabber
Publicly humiliate others especially in large groups when the target is present or in smaller groups where gossip will be spread and people will criticise the target behind their back. Also, share private information that was entrusted to you.
24 – Live in excess
Take everything to excess, especially even unhealthy things such as smoking, drinking, and sleeping too much. Don’t worry about your body or any of the health risks, you can handle it.
25 – Live in uncertainty
Try not to choose or decide for yourself instead let someone else make the decision for you. It’s safer than having to be hold responsible for your decisions. Who knows what may happen if you make the wrong decision about something important, so stay safe don’t make any.
26 – Time has run out
It’s too late to take up those missed opportunities and there are no more chances on your path so don’t think about doing what you always dreamed of. Accept that your time has passed. Think small and never dream big – amazing things only happen to others so it’s better think small so as not be disappointed.
27 – Be fearful
The truth is your fears will become real and if you try to face them. Don’t listen to those who claim that behind every fear lies an opportunity, these people are out to get you. The best thing to do is to stay safe and to live in fear. Forget about the confidence you might experience after facing your fears head on.
28 – Be a doormat
Yes, you are a hero to everyone around you, so put their needs before yours. Always say yes and never say no, you don’t want to let anyone down otherwise they may stop liking you. There is no reason to fear a heartbreak. Bullies and narcissists don’t exist, it is emotionally rewarding to be a people pleaser. Don’t we always get treated fairly and equally? Go on open your heart carelessly!
29 – No one can be trusted
Everyone is planning to betray you so why would you trust anyone, especially the people who love you. Remember you’ll be hurt in the end so be the first to break your promises and hurt others rather than running the risk of being hurt yourself.
30 – Be an energy vampire
Your glass is half empty so the best thing to do is to moan about it to everyone around you, it will cheer them up and discharge of all your negativity onto them! To be noticed, add some self pity and pessimism into the mix. You are the victim, make everyone feel sorry for you so you can suck their positive energy and feel better about yourself.
31 – The grass is always greener on the other side
Put your rose colored tinted glasses on and compare yourself to other people until jealousy and resentment take you over. Don’t consider your own life path and improving your life, instead feel angry that everyone else has it easy compared to you.
32 – Stop learning
You finished your education and you know all there is to know about everything and even if you don’t, what you know is enough to do and keep your job. Your learning years are over, there is no point taking up any more opportunities to grow and learn.
33 – Follow the crowd
It’s better to base your self worth on other people’s perceptions of you – the majority knows best so stick with them. Why would you do things your own way or follow your instinct? You don’t have the courage to be your authentic self so it’s not worth trying and anyway, you wouldn’t fit in and would just be seen as odd. Make decisions based on what others will think of you and not on what’s in your heart.
34 – Powerlessness
Give up your power. Your destiny is out of your hands, there is no way out of difficult situations and painful feelings, unless you ask for help and that’s out of question. Believe that your status in life along with your potential are controlled by fate, divine intervention or luck. There is no need to take any initiative so it is best to stay passive and powerless.
35 – Escape reality
An easy way to disconnect with the world around you and escape reality is to get an addiction, whether it be alcohol, shopping, money, drugs or pornography. It’s too much to think about the fact that life is happening now. Addiction can help you forget about the purpose of your life and you will avoid concerning yourself with what living life to the fullest means to you.
36 – Go around in circles
When attempting to solve a problem, do it the same way each and every time, even if you don’t succeed (in which case give up!). Don’t look for creative solutions – if one approach doesn’t work the first time then there isn’t a right way. What is the point of thinking long and hard about another stupid solution which is never going to work.
37 – Go wherever the wind takes you
Never set goals or plan ahead, what is meant to happen will happen. The things you desire in life will fall into your lap without you even trying. Focusing on completing something and planning for the future is a waste of time.
38 – Let stress take over you
You never know what might happen if you sit alone quietly, the things you don’t want to think about may come up to haunt you, so leave silence alone and keep busy by filling your time with distractions. Let the hippies and lazy people find peace of mind and relaxation while you continue to live your stressful life. Stress is healthy and necessary, everyone knows that.
39 – Hang around with losers
Make sure all your friends have no ambition and will stand in the way of any ambition you might have. Don’t make the effort to change your friends when you outgrow them or they bring you down. Change is dangerous and unwise – it’s best to stay stuck than to leave your friends behind.
40 – Apply this list into your life
These 40 bad behaviors are easy to implement so apply them if you want to mess up your life or do the opposite of what is listed if you want to change your life for the better (recommended!).